Prebil In For Sly: The Onion's Greatest Hits

It's hard to believe that some people still pick up the Onion and take it for real news content. Sad but true. What are some of your favorite Onion headlines from over the years, and do you follow them on Twitter?

Arthur Kohl Riggs: Live From Wall Street Occupation

Arthur brings us live coverage of the occupation on Wall Street this morning. It's loud and crowded - just watch the video he took from yesterday's activities.

Arthur's Facebook Group:
http://www.facebook.com/Shitscottwalker

John Nichols: Chris Christie, Leah Vukmir, Walker's Poker Face

John Nichols is Associate Editor of The Capital Times and The Nation and joins us each weekday at 8:00.

NJ Gov Christie Begged To Run

The governor of New Jersey apparently has a soft side, a departure from his usual surly attitude towards being criticized. This time, after being begged to get in on the Republican primary, he sheepishly declines, saying that it's just too much hard work and too much responsibility. His attitude on fixing America's unemployment crisis has some shivering hints of Scott Walker's plan to dumb down Wisconsin and put us all behind a McDonald's counter.

Brian Austin: Madison Professional Police Association

Yesterday, we heard from Joe Conway Jr of Firefighters Local 311, telling us about how successful union/city budget negotiations will save taxpayers money, and keep them safer. Today we hear from Brian Austin to tell us how the Madison police officers are also dedicated to being fairly compensated while still saving the city money, this time satisfaction was reached and the city still keeps $2 million more than it would have without union representation.

Cynthia Archer's New Bumper Sticker

Sources have told Sly In The Morning that Ralph Monroe herself has affixed a snazzy new bumper sticker to the back of her Isuzu Trooper. It's hard to believe that this Walker goonette lives on the near-east side of Madison, WI, a land where one can't look one way or the other and not find a Recall Walker bumper sticker. We take a few minutes early in the morning to speculate what it might be, and then I'll tell you what our source said it was...

UPDATE: Sly surveillance intelligence seems to point to a prank. Our operative finds evidence of a recently removed bumper sticker on the back of Archer's Trooper. I guess she isn't joining our team after all.

Oshkosh Truck Strike

above: an airport fire's worst nightmare

The builders of the finest heavy duty trucks in the universe are picketing during the contract negotiations in Oshkosh. This is a company with a practically unlimited profit horizon, being a defense contractor, and being innovative and competitive in the ultra-duty truck market. However, some of their union members aren't the most dedicated voters when it comes to fair employment.
We'll be ready to "Bring Madison To Oshkosh" if the call for help comes.

State Representative Andy Jorgensen: Campaign Fund Crooks

If you've every checked the box on your tax return to donate a dollar to the State Election Campaign Fund, you are a victim of theft. The Walker administration hijacked $1.1 million dollars of pure tax money that's reserved for people who want to represent the citizens of the state, but don't have the likes of David Koch and M&I Bank on their side. Worse yet, it seems the Republicans are pushing the money toward paying for the Voter ID bill. Just don't email anybody and tell them that.

Attorney Mike Riley: Death Penalty, Loser Pays, Drug Dogs, Class Warfare

www.axley.com

John Nichols: Walker's Bagmen

John Nichols is Associate Editor of The Capital Times and The Nation and joins us each weekday at 8:00.

Democrats For Mark Neumann

Today I've decided to endorse right wing monster, and former congressman Mark Neumann. I have formed Dems for Neumann, because Tammy "Unelectable" Baldwin is not a particularly strong candidate, and Mark Neumann is even more unelectable. Since Mark Neumann will spend the rest of eternity fighting partial birth abortions, we need to vote him to the tip-top of the Republican primary so he'll lose and Tammy will win.

Joe Conway: Firefighters Local 311

Our public services have retained their budget after successfully negotiating with Mayor Paul Soglin. This was a decision that will keep us safer. It all comes down to a great union with lots of activists fighting for the right thing. We kept the overtime budget while keeping the expansion rate of the department consistent with a safe coverage area.

What will Scott Walker be buried with?

A Green Bay cemetery worker is behind bars for stealing a Fender Telecaster from a grave, which made me wonder: If musicians want to be buried with their instruments, what would Governor Walker take with him to the grave when the Lord calls him home?

Hendrix

Oscar-Mayer OSHA Violations

Why can't people take responsibility for themselves? OSHA has made troubling discoveries at Madison's largest employer (behind the UW) that could jeopardize the safety of thousands of workers. As a result, the union swiftly took control of the troubled standards and fixed them. A great example of how unions save companies from themselves. Winter Soldier Terry Fritter even gets a phone conversation with Madison's king of freedom, Monte.

Segway Jeremy Ryan Assaulted By State Troopers In Capitol Gallery

Jeremy Ryan joins us to tell us the details of what happened when he and several other upright citizens brought cameras in to the chambers to exercise their state constitutional right to record or photograph state legislature proceedings. After all, we do have Eye On Wisconsin for one thing. The Capitol Police, who maintained some professionalism since the protests and activism picked up steam, had to intervene with the physical abuse brought by the State Patrol.

Rush: Cain The REAL Black President

It's hard to forget about Rush's history of bashing Obama since he spoke at the 2004 Democratic National Convention in Chicago. I said to those around me, "He's going to be president in 2008". I was right, and Rush was infuriated that the birther "Halfrican American" was elected. Now that another black man has joined the race as a Republican, Herman Cain, Rush seems to be extremely excited about it.

John Nichols: Live From Detroit

John Nichols is Associate Editor of The Capital Times and The Nation and joins us each weekday at 8:00.

Walker Stalkers In Studio

The crew stopped in, and made me an honorary member of AFSCME Local 1077.

Drug Dogs Approved For Madison Public Schools

Madison should really be ashamed of itself for this one. A huge step out of our usual respect for one's right to privacy has resulted from the school boards decision to allow 2-3 searches per semester of Madison middle and high schools. Sad. What's next? Drug testing? Kindergarten cubby searches? No doubt that our K9 teams are top-notch, and the dogs to help us bring serious situations under control whether they're drug related or not. But some pot in a locker isn't serious.

Keith Steffen: Postal Jobs Must Stay

Congress is doing their best to "modernize" the post office to the point where 125,000 postal workers will be looking for jobs. The postal service was not created as a way to make money for the government, it was made to be a service to all US citizens. Keith Steffen explains how the postal service isn't taxpayer funded, and doesn't need to be viewed as a drain on the budget.

Cheese Under Attack In Wisconsin?

If there's one thing that no true Wisconsinite can allow, it's any kind of law governing the sale of cheese. Now, there's a health awareness group with a billboard talking about the dangers of a high-cheese diet, so the inventor of the iconic cheese head is fighting back.

Make Rick Perry Meaner and Tea Party Gets Happier

Rick Perry came off as a little weak to the staw poll after Friday's debate, losing that poll to Herman Cain . Better liven things up a little for him and give the cowboys who can't wait to get Texas back in Washington something to tap their cowboy boot toes about.

John Nichols: John Doe Moves To Wisconsin

John Nichols is Associate Editor of The Capital Times and The Nation and joins us each weekday at 8:00.

Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel's Dan Bice: John Doe Investigation: Politics For Sale

There is a big ol' dark cloud over the governor today, and it's not the rain outside the capitol. It's inside the capitol. For the first time in our state's history, the governor's chief spokesman has been granted immunity in a John Doe investigation. We know that it involves an FBI raid. Governor Walker will have a hard time continuing to function if he doesn't start coming clean with the public. Start coming clean.